My current works in progress, in brief...

[and_chocolate]

Gakked from yahtzee63:


the one with Tobey Maguire

Elijah: "Dude, I haven't seen you since I lost my virginity to you when I was fifteen. How are you doing?"
Tobey: "Um."
Elijah: "So, you wanna fuck again?"
Tobey: "Um."
Elijah: "C'mon. It'll be fun. I'm even legal now."
Tobey: "Um."


the one that's laylah_r's fault

Orlando: "So, did you hear what Johnny said about us on the Pirates DVD commentary?"
Keira: "Yes. I think we should shag him rotten."
Orlando: "Okay!"
Johnny: "Um."


the other one that's laylah_r's fault

Tim Burton: "That's it, splatter that all over Johnny's face."
Johnny: "Huh? Oh! I get it...it's Freudian. Hey, Tim.... C'mere...."
Tim: "Um."


the one that hates me

Elijah: "I saw this really, really sick and kinky porn once...."
Charlie: "Okay, I'm game. Let's go."
Elijah: "Um."


the one that's stalled

Elijah: "I'm so sick I can't even think straight."
Orlando: "I'll take care of you."
Elijah: "Mmmm. That feels good."
Orlando: o.O "Um."
Elijah: "Oops, sorry. Can I blame that on being sick?"
Orlando: "Um."


the one that's supposed to be a birthday present for deleerium, but is abysmally late

Orlando: "We must win this war."
Elijah: "I will die at your side."
Orlando: "Not happening, mate. No dying for you."
mystery man: "You have won. I surrender. Kill me."
Elijah: "Oooh, you're pretty."
Orlando: "Nope, no dying for you, either. You can be my...ahem...slave. Yeah."
mystery man: "Um."